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You know you're a Persian when..
1. A visa is not a credit card.
2. You refer to your dad's friends as Amu
3. You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and pumpkin seeds..
4. Your parents say you're becoming Americanized anytime you get into trouble.
5. You curse at your teachers or strangers in Farsi.
6. You can spot another Persian a mile away and they have spotted you because they keep staring.
7. After a family meal, the women fight to death over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on their behinds and discuss politics, waiting for their coffee/tea.
8. Your parents want you to become a doctor or engineer.
9.You use your forehead and eyebrow(s) to point something out.
10. Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if you're in the next room.
11. You have at least thirty cousins.
12. You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal.
13. You are standing next to the largest suitcases at the Airport
14. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
15. You say bye 17 times on the phone.
16. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover they know one of your uncles back home.
17. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.
18. Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
19.You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
20.Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
21. You still came back home to live with your parents after you graduate.
22. You teach Westerners swearwords in Farsi
23. You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".
24. Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day.
25. You get yelled at for talking when the NEWS is on.
Sent By: Nima
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Top Ten Ways to Detect A Persian
1)If you have problems with your in-laws
2)If you go a little overboared with the makeup
3)If you'v had some sort of laser hair removal
4)If you prounce words beginning with S, ehs..eg ehschool,ehsport,ehstudent
5)If your favourite colour is black on black
6)If your roots are showing
7)If you want nothing more then to be known
8)If you submit jokes on the internet in english but can't spell.
9)If you feed your pets khormeh sabzi
10)If every joke you tell includes a turkish person
Sent By: sara
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ACCORDING TO KHAMENEI EVERYONE SHOULD SAY A PRAYER BEFORE DRINKING WATER SINCE IN WATER RESIDE THREE JENS, TWO HYDRO JENS AND ONE OXY JEN.
Sent By: ALIGEDA
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A GIRL LIES NAKED ON THE BED,SPREADS HER LEGS AND ASKED A TURK DO U KNOW WHAT IT MEANS? THE TURK SAYS I KNOW YOU BITCH..... YOU WANT TO OCCUPY ALL THE BED
Sent By: Unknown
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SIGNS OF POSSIBLE PERSIANITY:
If you have lived in this country all your life, but
you still talk about the revolution as if you were
there. (THE REVOLUTION IS WHEN A BIG FLOCK OF PERSIANS
MIGRATED TO THE UNITED STATES)
If you leave your house at the exact time that the
event you're going to is supposed to start, no matter
how far you live from the place. (USUALLY KNOWN AS
*PST*: Persian Standard Time)
If you talk with your friends on your cell phone
while you are still able to see them in the distance.
If you use your cell phone to tell your friend that
you are outside of his house to pick him up.
If you have Thanksgiving dinner with "berenj"(RICE),
and "khoresht."(STEW) * RICE IS USUALLY ACCOMPANIED BY
STEW*
If your mother fishes for compliments after the
dinner, proclaiming to everyone that the
"berenj"(RICE) and "khoresht"(STEW) needed more
"namak."(SALT) *(ONLY APPLIES TO THE MOTHERS WHO COOK,
SOME MOTHERS HAVE THEIR MAIDES COOK FOR THEM AFTER
THEY HAVE TAUGHT THEM HOW)*
If after a family meal, there is a fight to the death
over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on
their behinds and play cards, waiting for their tea.
If you are so anxious to watch the Iranian show on
Sundays, you are willing to sit through 5 minutes of
Korean game shows so you don't miss the beginning.
(THIS ONLY APPLIES TO THE ADULTS)
If you call everyone you know as soon as there is an
American nightly news show doing a story about Iran or
someone from Iran.
If you have your own "beeziness"(BUSINESS) yet you
have never seen a 1040 tax form.
If you have your own "beeziness"(BUSINESS) yet you
are a "doaktor"(DOCTOR), or a "mohandess". (Sorry, I
could not come up with a translation.)
If you come to this country every few months to pick
up your social security checks yet you don’t speak a
word of English, and you have never actually worked in
this country.
(THIS ONLY APPLIES TO THE FOB's: Fresh Off the Boat)
If your child is "Shagerd-eh avall"(#1 STUDENT) in
his school.
(This applies only to the boys. The girls know that
they are going to get married and live off of their
husband’s money, no matter how old he may be, as long
as he can buy her Gucci products.)
If you spend your life savings on a BMW, a Mercedes
Benz, or any other expensive car just so you can seem
rich to other Persians. If you study at UCI
(University of Cherah Injah-hastam) (UNIVERSITY OF WHY
AM I HERE) and you complain to your friends in Farsi
about how the Asians never speak English.
Sent By: Ghazal
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The most versatile word in Persian vocabulary is "Koon"
Here are some proverbs widely used in the language
1. When you are excessively happy , tooye koonet aroosieh.
2. When you are teasing people, koonet mikhareh.
3. When you are lazy, koonet goshade.
4. When you are out in the cold, Koonet yakh mizaneh
5. When you loose something for no reason, koonet misouzeh.
6. When you work damn hard, koonet pareh misheh.
7. When you are scared and shaken, barq az koonet mipareh.
8. When you are extremely frightened , ann tou koonet Alaska mishe
9. When you are damn tired, joon az koonet dar mireh.
10. When you are incredibly lucky, az koon shans myiari.
11. When you dem onstrate disregard for someone, barash koon kaj mikoni.
12. When you give someone undue compliments, baad too koonesh mikoni.
13. When you have a very sharp vision , koonet ham cheshm dareh.
14. When you think very highly of yourself, az koone feel oftadi.
15. When something terrible happens, koone aasemoon zamin miad
Sent By: Farshad
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A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?”
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and fainting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"
"That should have worked," said the friend.
The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..."
Sent By: kamran
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Once a American girl askes a rashti guy to come home to her, the rashti guy accepts it, so when they arrive home, the American girl goes naked on the bed and open her legs wide, she askes the rashti guy "Do u know what this means?". the Rashti guy says: " yes, it means that u need the whole bed to sleep on.
Sent By: MiSs Elnaz
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A Persian grandma just came from Iran and wanted to become a citizen in the United States. She took her grandson with her to take her citizenship exam. The immigration officer told the Persian woman that he had to ask her 4 simple questions about America and if she answers them correctly, she would become a citizen.
She Said, "Ok, but I no speak English, I bringing my grandson."
The man said, "Ok, so he will translate.
Now for your first question...
1) What is the capital of America?
The Iranian woman's grandson told her, "Man koja' raftam da'newga'?"
"Vashangton!!", said the grandma.
That was correct, now for question number 2...
2) When is Independence Day for America?
The Grandson Said, "Newman Marcoos key hara'j da'reh?"
"July Fourt!!", the grandma said.
Correct, now for question number 3...
3) Who ran for President this year but lost?
The grandson told his grandmother, "Oon Martikeh keh ba' doxtareh woma' aroosi kard, keh doosew nada'rin, koja' bereh?"
She Said, "Too goooor!!!"
Wow, wonderful job, now for your final question...
4) Who is the President of the United States now?
The grandson translated, "Har vaqt pesaret gooz mideh, az ciw na'ra'hat miwi?"
"Boooosh!!", grandma answered.
She is a US citizen now....
Sent By: Maryam!
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(this joke must be read in various accents)There was an English man, French man and an Arab who were being interviewed by a reporter with regards to what they bought their wives for valentine's day.So the french man says, well, "i bought my wife a ring and a pair of gloves, so if she does not like the ring she can cover eet wiz ze glouve." The english man said, "i bought my wife a beautiful diamond broach and a scarf, so that if should happen to dislike the broach she may cover it with the scarf". so the ask the Arab, wo says, "walah habibi! i bort my vife a Fararri and a vibrator!" the reporter is tunned and asks "why a Vibrator??" the Arab says: "vel, if she does not like the Fararri she can FUCK HERSELF!!!"
Sent By: Nirvana
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