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Jokestan
Funny World Wide News
The following are funny news extracted from news reuters.
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Gun safety presenter shoots self
Gun safety presenter shoots self
ORLANDO, Florida (AP) -- A federal drug agent shot himself in the leg during a gun safety presentation to children, in what the police describe by accident. The Drug Enforcement Administration agent, whose name was not released, was speaking to about 50 adults and students organized by the Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association. He drew his 40-caliber duty weapon and removed the magazine, according to the police report. He then pulled back the slide and asked an audience member to look inside the gun and confirm it wasn't loaded. Witnesses said when the agent released the slide, one shot fired into the top of his left thigh. The gun was pointed at the floor. The agent was treated at Orlando Regional Medical Center and returned to work.
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Invisible thief nabbed in Iran
Thu Nov 7, 7:00 AM ET
TEHRAN (Reuters) - Iranian police are looking for a phoney sorcerer who conned a man into believing he was invisible and could rob banks, according to the Jam-e Jam newspaper.
Customers at a Tehran bank quickly overpowered the deluded robber after he started snatching banknotes from their hands.
Appearing in court, the repentant thief said he paid five million rials to a man who gave him some spells and told him to tie them to his arm to become invisible.
"I made a mistake. I understand now what a big trick was played on me," the would-be bank robber was reported as telling the judge. His name was not given.
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Suspect Escapes Jail, Is Eaten by Crocodile
Fri Jun 21,10:32 AM ET
PANAMA CITY (Reuters) - A 28-year-old Panamanian accused of killing a judge was eaten by a crocodile as he swam across a river after escaping from prison, police said on Thursday.
Oswaldo Martinez, accused of murdering judge Harmodio Mariscal on June 5 during a failed robbery in Panama City, was captured last week by police after fleeing to neighboring Costa Rica.
After being held in custody in Costa Rica, Martinez broke out of jail at the weekend and was aiming to reenter Panama through the dense jungle that divides the two Central American countries.
Martinez was eaten alive by the crocodile on Monday as he tried to swim across the River Terraba in southern Costa Rica, according to eyewitness reports confirmed by police on Thursday.
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Dancer Jailed for `Corruption`
Tue May 28, 9:23 AM ET
TEHRAN (Reuters) - A U.S.-based Iranian male dancer has been jailed after returning home, accused of corrupting the youth by giving dance lessons, a newspaper reported Tuesday.
Mohammad Khordadian, a folklore dancer living in Los Angeles, recently returned home to attend his mother's funeral.
But he was arrested on orders of a hardline court dealing with "moral corruption" and sent to Tehran's notorious Evin prison, the daily Iran said. It said the court had set a bail of 200 million rials ($25,000) for his temporary release.
Like many other Iranian entertainers, Khordadian fled Iran after the 1979 Islamic Revolution which led to the enforcement of strict Islamic laws, including a ban on "decadent" practices, such as dancing and Western-style music.
In Los Angeles, home to a large Iranian expatriate community, Khordadian has been performing on stage and teaching dancing.
His performances are regularly broadcast to the Islamic republic via satellite televisions, making him very popular among Iranian youth. Illegal videotapes of his dance instructions are bestsellers in Iran.
"I did not mean to teach dancing. They are really fitness classes," Khordadian told the court in defense of himself. "If I had known what I was doing is wrong, I would never have performed."
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Dolls Do Battle with Barbie and Ken
Dolls Do Battle with Barbie and Ken
Fri Mar 8, 7:21 AM ET
By Parisa Hafezi
TEHRAN (Reuters) - Iran hopes two dolls dressed in traditional Iranian clothing will see off plastic princess Barbie in Tehran's latest offensive against what it calls a Western cultural invasion.
The 23-year-old Islamic Republic has fought a running battle to purge pervasive Western culture from the country, enforcing Islamic dress codes, banning Western music and foreign satellite television.
Twin toy dolls named Sara, a female, and Dara, a male, arrived in shops this week with different models wearing various traditional clothes. But unlike their Western cousins, the dolls cannot be undressed.
The Islamic Republic declared Barbie, made by U.S. company Mattel, un-Islamic in 1996 and ordered sales stopped, but the leggy, busty blonde is still openly available in Tehran shops and is popular with Iranian children.
"I want to have a blonde hair Barbie doll, they are exactly like movie stars and I would like to be like a Barbie" said seven-year-old Dalia in a Tehran toy shop.
Iran first announced it would produce Sara and Dara in 1996, but technical problems delayed production until now.
"Sara and Dara, with an oriental appearance, counter the cultural invasion of the West as well as the models of Western women and men introduced by Western-made toys and dolls," said Mohsen Chini Foroushan, managing director of the Center for Intellectual Development of Children and Young Adults.
Dara and Sara sell for around $15 each, about the same price as the most simple Barbie. Some models of the Western dolls with full accessories can sell for up to $100.
Nevertheless, sales of Sara and Dara have so far been slow, toy shop owners said.
"A lot of people have come to look at the dolls, but they just laugh and leave," said one toy shop owner who displayed the new dolls in his window. "We haven't sold any yet."
"Girls aged between five to 16 are only asking for Barbie and its accessories and most of our income is dependent on it" said Ali Javaheriyan, another toy shop owner in a rich district of the capital.
Many parents were unhappy with their children nagging for ever more Barbie dolls and array of accessories.
"Even my six-year-old daughter understands the difference between original and imitation Barbies," said Shahla, a teacher and mother of three children, who earns $150 a month. "I cheat her by only buying her clothes with the Barbie sign on it."
Others said Barbie dolls were a bad role model.
"I am a university teacher and I do not want my daughter to become a consumer and think only about her appearance," said 38-year-old Parvin.
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Love Comes at a Price
Thursday June 14 8:11 AM ET
Love Comes at a Price
ASHGABAT (Reuters) - Turkmenistan President Saparmurat Niyazov has come up with a scheme for topping up his impoverished republic's coffers -- making foreigners pay a cool $50,000 to marry his citizens.
Under a decree from the Foreign Ministry to embassies in Ashgabat, foreign would-be spouses must pay the state insurance company, supposedly to support any children of the marriage in the event of a divorce.
Turkmen males have for centuries paid a ``kalym'' or bride-price to marry, but it was never compulsory.
An Ashgabat registry official told Reuters Turkmen girls were especially popular with Turks, Iranians, Britons and Germans.
The payment is applicable to both men and women, but it is more common that foreign men take Turkmen wives.
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ONLY IN AMERICA
A Charlotte, NC man purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars and
then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having
smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having
made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim
against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were
lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay,
citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the
normal fashion. The man sued.... and won!
In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that
the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated, nevertheless, that the man held
a
policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were
insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire,
without defining what is considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was
obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the man for his loss of
the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
So what would you decide to do as the insurance company?
Here is what they did.
NOW FOR THE BEST PART
After the man cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on
24
counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the
previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of
intentionally
burning his insured property and sentenced him to 24 months in jail and
$24,000.00 fine.
(This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal
Lawyers Darwin Award Contest)..
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Sex-Starved Moose Defecates on Car
Wednesday March 21 7:57 AM ET
OSLO (Reuters) - A sex-starved moose in Norway mistook a small, yellow car for a would-be partner, but defecated on it after it got no response.
Leif Borgersen, owner of the Ford Ka model, told the Norwegian regional daily Telemarksavisa Tuesday that he found his car bathed in lick marks, saliva and moose excrement.
Borgersen says the moose left its mark on the front yard of his home in Lardal, about 125 miles southwest of Oslo.
``The front yard was simply transformed into an outdoor toilet,'' he said. ``I'm a bit uncertain whether I should take the risk of letting the car stand alone and defenseless on the front yard from now on.''
There was no damage to the car apart from the sideview mirror that was bent backwards
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Vegetarian Gets $215 for Bone in Plane Meal
Thursday March 8 10:52 AM ET
NEW DELHI (Reuters) - A strict vegetarian has won a two-year court battle against a private Indian airline, saying he suffered intense anguish after he found a chicken bone in his meal.
The Delhi consumer court ordered domestic airline Jet Airways to pay passenger Bimal Naulakha $215 in damages.
Naulakha, eating from a dish labeled vegetarian, had expected a lunch of rice and lentils. Instead, he found himself staring at a bone.
Naulakha suffered emotional scars over the discovery, the court said in its recent ruling.
Jet Airways did not return phone calls Thursday seeking comment on the case reported in India's media.
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Wild Turkey Pecks on Mail Carrier
Friday March 2 10:18 AM ET
BOSTON (Reuters) - Neither rain nor sleet nor gloom of night kept a Newton, Massachusetts, postal carrier from his rounds. It took a wild turkey.
``He's a big one, bigger than any dog that's chased me,'' said U.S. postal carrier Tim Hoban, who has been delivering mail in the Boston suburb for the past 14 years.
The 5-foot-9 (1.8 meter), 150-pound (68 kg) Hoban said the 4-foot-6 (1.3 meter), 30 pound (13.5 kg) wild turkey has been in the area for about a year. ``But about a month ago, he started chasing me.
``He see me, hunches up his back, spreads his wings, goes gobble, gobble and charges right at me,'' said Hoban, 39, acknowledging that there ``are some things that are really funny about this, but it's not so funny when he chases me out into traffic.''
The situation has become so bad that Hoban's supervisors agreed he did not have to deliver mail to about 20 homes in the area.
Boston's Animal Rescue League spent more than an hour on Wednesday without success trying to capture the turkey, which the neighborhood has nicknamed ``George.''
Hoban speculated that George sees him as a threat to his food supply. Recently people in the neighborhood have been putting out food for the creature.
``I feel bad for the people and I feel bad for the turkey. I don't want him hurt, but that goes for me too,'' Hoban said.
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